Most days, I wind up with baby poop on my person somewhere at least once.
Most days, I get a super fun migraine or headache from the ear-piecing sound of my daughter screaming about something mysterious that she's upset about.
Most days, I fall asleep at least once in front of my computer while working on a spreadsheet or while writing a work email.
Most days, not only do I have to change diapers and take care of my daughter's waste products, I have to the same for my elderly dog, who's having accidents in the house. Poor Sam.
Most days, I can't remember if I found time to brush my teeth in the morning.
Most days, I screw up the laundry in some way, whether it's forgetting about a load in the washer only to discover it when it stinks up the laundry room or pink splotches on my husband's white undershirts. I hate sorting laundry, but it often bites me when something bleeds and I then have to try to fix it.
Most days, my husband and I are ships passing in the night as he works crazy long days or is off traveling.
Most days, I feel some sort of guilt. Whether it's guilt for not listening to something my son said over breakfast, or guilt for working on spreadsheets and schedules when my daughter's cooing at me, or guilt for not washing dishes...there's always something to feel guilty about.
And on the worst days, I wonder what on earth I'm doing. Then something happens that turns me around - whether it's a smile from the baby or a hug or sweet words from my son or a little bit of extra coffee or chocolate, or just a few quiet minutes to myself to get my head on straight. Motherhood is hard work, for sure, but it has its moments.
and you wouldn't change a minute it, I know. :^)
ReplyDeleteIt's not glamorous, that's for sure. I hope you have a good week, too! More good moments than bad.
ReplyDeleteIt's not glamorous, that's for sure. I hope you have a good week, too! More good moments than bad.
ReplyDeleteWhy should you have it easier than the rest of us :)! That is the comment I would get most often, but I know exactly how you feel. Now that my children are all older - we laugh at many an episode and you know.....the older they get....the more they say - I don't know how you did it. One thing I read and have followed for years is to say "I Love You", as I tucked them into bed, and you know....we say it to each other before signing off when we call or Email to this day!
ReplyDeleteThis is Grandma advise, Color Guard Sheets help with laundry. Just rip them in half and throw in with every load. If something sneaks into a light load you are covered. Gas drops are cheap and little ones systems are like ours. They get gas trapped and have no way to get rid of it. Naps are important and as she gets older you will wonder as you look back how you got through it My DIL feels the same way you do. She had two businesses to run and 5 kids to keep on track. Hang in there Mommyhood is not an easy job. Chris
ReplyDeleteI remember those days. The least you can do is forgive yourself for not doing the dishes! That's an easy one to let go of. Try to go easy on yourself and you'll get through it.
ReplyDeleteHang in and enjoy as much as you can while she is so little and cute!
ReplyDeleteBabies. are. HARD. Not that they aren't completely worth it but it seems like no much talks about how really truly hard those first months (ok year) can be. Hang in there! Thinking good thoughts for you :-)
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have. I know it seems endless at this point, but you will someday look back and wonder how those years flew past.
ReplyDeleteThink of your children as a gift from God to be treasured and your perspective will change. He trusted you with these lives. Blessings on them and you.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate you not trying to paint this picture perfect idea of how you're doing. What you describe is so real! We always joke baby cuteness is their defence mechanism to counter all the other things :). She is beautiful by the way!
ReplyDeleteIt gets better. And when it isn't, I buy better chocolate. Hugs
ReplyDeleteGood to read this today. I know you look over this now and wish perhaps you did not share this, thinking perhaps you sound whiny and ungrateful. LOL
ReplyDeleteYou are human, and being a mom AND working!! wow, that is a lot.
Second babies are more forgiving, because they do not know anything else.
Most important, take care of YOU.
Everything you wrote here I experienced. - messing up the laundry, yes, I did that so many times.
Dinner? keeping the place clean enough?
Reading the above encouraging comments.
We all understand this challenge. Perfection is over rated.
I thank God that you have a healthy girl
Oh and by the way, I can't stop looking at her.
DeleteShe is so cute!
I appreciate your honesty. The early days are such a mix of challenges and wonderful moments. Thanks for sharing photos of your sweet girl.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing;). Being a mama is wonderful and life-changing, but also challenging and exhausting.... all at once. I am right there with you (my son is finishing up nursing and reaching for my face as I type this.) I find that his best naps are now had on the nursing pillow propped up between me and my desk... There are days that he is melting down right at that moment that my daughter really wants me to stay with her until she falls asleep, or when she just wants to snuggle while he needs to nurse. It's such a crazy balance, but we figure it out and I know that the kiddos somehow know that we are doing our best and carry on with their amazing little selfs;). Also, in the course of me writing this comment, I got spit up on again and am fully planning on another blow-out diaper later today;). Love to you and your gorgeous kiddos!!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your honesty. Motherhood is challenging. Don't forget to ask for help if needed/wanted. It gets better isn't the best response, but helped me remember it won't always be like this.
ReplyDeleteGlad you could vent~being a mom is not all sunshine and rainbows. My youngest is about to graduate high school~it doesn't look so bad when looking backwards :) you'll get there as well~keep moving forward!
ReplyDeleteHonesty is real. I don't like people who sugar-coat the troubles and I feel they are true liars. Yes, I don't know if I would have wished to have become a mom knowing that I would be spit on, pooped on, had my nipples bitten in public, pulled poop out my kids butt, screamed at, lied to as well as just made ro feel unappreciated and unneeded, but when mother's day comes around, I will be giddy in the knees when my kids give me a kiss or homemade card. Yes, motherhood is for real champions! Treat yourself everyday with something special. Extend that to something weekly and then a monthly treat as well. Tell people to bug off when they give you unwanted advice. They have forgotten how hard it really is with newborns.
ReplyDeleteMy two kids are two years, two weeks apart. And I had postpartum depression with number two. What I remember from the perspective of 20 years ago is that the first year with two is the hardest. It just is. I remember when my daughter turned one, I couldn't believe I was managing as well after that year. I actually hired a housekeeper who came in twice a month just to clean, even though I wasn't working that year. It was nice to know the house was clean and it was great that I didn't have to clean it! Find a way to give yourself a break. A rested and well adjusted mommy is better for everyone!
ReplyDeleteIt's a hard slog, that's for sure. My youngest is only 4 and I my brain has gone into protective mode and wiped most of that pain from my memory. I only remember the sweet, soft, nice-smelling parts :) But it really is tiring and emotional work, even with the joy they bring. Mothers are awesome (and Dads too)!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a good mama you are.
ReplyDeleteReading your post I had to think of the really hard time when our first child was born. He cried a lot, didn't sleep and there were many days on which I still wore my pyjamas at 4 pm... Brushing my teeth? Well, let's not talk about it... When I was pregnant with our daughter less than two years later many of our friends were really surprised that we were having another baby because I was so overtaxed with the first child. Well, now we have three kids, our household is definitely not perfect and not always clean, I learned that a bit of a mess doesn't hurt anybody. There's a proverb here in Germany, saying only a happy woman is a good mom. So try to find some time for you every now and then and don't let the dishes or the laundry make you feel guilty! The kids grow up so fast and although it's not always easy - those days when they are little never come back - enjoy them somehow!
ReplyDeleteThere is simply no time or room in life for guilt! As women of this time, we simply must just let things be what they are... Accept that this is a time where things will have to slide. People are the priority and let the rest fall to the side for a bit. It/We will be here when you're back on track. Anyone who has been a parent completely understands where you are and that you need to take this time for your family and yourself. Ease up a bit on yourself. <3 Hang in there, as all stages in life, this too shall pass!
ReplyDeleteSounds about right. Motherhood and guilt go hand in hand. Try not to let it get you down. You are trying. And that's what counts. Soon your kids will be leaving the nest. It goes by fast. Just ask me. ;)
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of three teen girls (one named Lorelei), I can say it gets better. Don't let the guilt monster eat at you too much. In the end the children will remember how awesome your jokes were or how you were the best tickler ever, not whether or not dad's underoos were pink or if the kitchen was a mess.
ReplyDeleteI hear you! Just do what you need to do day by day and before you know it, she will be walking around, getting into things and you will wonder where your baby went. I enjoyed motherhood a lot more when my kids were preschoolers. Babies are hard. They can't tell you what is wrong, and you spend a lot of time guessing.
ReplyDeleteHang in there - it gets easier.
ReplyDeleteAlso, your little one may be lactose intolerant. (It runs in my family, so the symptoms sound familiar.) Check with her doctor on her next checkup. Our screaming spitting-up babies would change almost immediately after being switched to goat milk.